Why Do Some People Never Learn? The Real Reasons Behind Stubborn Stagnation

Ever notice how some people seem locked in their ways—like your uncle who still can't send an email or that co-worker who always asks for help with simple tech stuff? It's not just laziness or stubbornness. There's actually a ton happening behind the scenes that gets in the way.

If you’ve ever tried to change a habit, you know it’s way easier to stick with what feels comfortable. Our brains love routines and familiar pathways, so switching things up—especially as an adult—takes real effort. I’ve seen it firsthand myself, and with my kids, Ronan and Lorelei. We pick up patterns early, and they stick. That’s part of why some folks never pick up new skills, no matter how much life seems to demand it.

But here’s the kicker: you can break out of stuck patterns, even as an adult. The first step is figuring out what’s holding you back. Whether it’s a bored brain, past school trauma, or just not seeing the point, there’s usually a reason—and plenty of ways to break through.

• Old Habits Die Hard
• The Motivation Gap
• Hidden Learning Barriers
• Fixing Your Learning Roadblocks

Old Habits Die Hard

If you’ve ever tried to teach a parent how to use a new phone, you know habits run deep. Most adults aren’t just being stubborn—our brains literally like to stick with what’s already familiar. There’s actual science to back this up. Research from University College London found that it takes the average adult between 18 and 254 days to form a new habit, with most people landing around 66 days. That’s a long time to keep pushing through discomfort before new ways start to feel natural.

Brains are wired to save energy, and routines help us do that. When you always use the same method or process, your mind can basically run on autopilot. This makes it hard to swap out old behaviors for new ones—even when the old way clearly isn’t working anymore or is holding us back in work or life.

• The older you get, the more solid those patterns can become—neuroplasticity (that’s just a fancy term for your brain’s ability to change) slows down a bit once you’re out of your twenties.
• About 94% of people admit that sticking to an old habit feels easier, even if the new way would make their life better, according to a 2022 YouGov poll.

Here’s a quick look at just how tricky old habits can be for adults to break:

If you’re thinking about learning something new, start by tweaking one part of your routine at a time. For example, swap scrolling your phone in the evenings with reading five pages of an interesting book. Change feels weird at first, but it gets easier, especially if you focus on consistency instead of perfection. The key with adult education is not to try to overhaul everything at once—just look for tiny ways to shake things up and make progress.

The Motivation Gap

Let’s get real—motivation is the engine for learning as an adult. If you’re not interested, nothing sticks. Year after year, surveys from the National Center for Education Statistics show that adults who don’t see real-life benefits in learning a new skill rarely bother trying. It’s not just a gut feeling—almost 60% of adults in the U.S. say they’d only take a class if it’s directly tied to their job or income.

If you’ve ever wondered why your co-worker never bothers with computer workshops or why your neighbor can't be bothered to learn basic budgeting, it usually comes down to one thing: motivation. But motivation isn’t just about being lazy or energetic. It’s a mix of three big pieces:

• Relevance: People want their effort to pay off. If it feels pointless, they check out.
• Self-confidence: If you think you’ll fail, why even start? Adults who doubt themselves give up fast.
• Past experiences: Burned before by bad teachers or boring classes? Most folks won’t go back for more.

Check out some quick data that show how motivation changes depending on these factors:

Notice the big jump when learning ties directly to money or a new gig? That’s relevance doing its thing. If you’re trying to boost your motivation, try these tips:

• Connect a new skill to an actual problem in your life.
• Set small, clear goals to feel real progress sooner.
• Reward yourself after hitting each mini-milestone. It sounds cheesy, but it works—my son Ronan will do math twice as fast for an ice cream trip.

When learning feels like it matters—and doesn’t seem impossible—most people step up. The trick is making that connection up front, before your old habits win the day.

Hidden Learning Barriers

When it comes to adults struggling to pick up new skills, there’s way more going on than just a lack of time or laziness. Loads of folks face hidden obstacles that keep them from making progress—sometimes without even knowing it. Let’s shine a light on a few hurdles that quietly trip up grown-ups in the world of adult education.

One big barrier is fear. Fear of looking silly, making mistakes, or being judged in a classroom or meeting. Studies show almost 1 out of 3 adults feel anxious about learning something new because of bad past experiences. If someone was called out for being slow in school, those memories stick around—and they creep up during work trainings or anytime a new skill is needed.

Another major issue: folks don’t always know their learning style. Some people soak up info best by watching, others by doing, and some need to hear things out loud. If the lesson format doesn’t fit, your brain tunes out fast. Research from the Learning & Work Institute found adults are twice as likely to drop out of a class if the teaching style doesn’t click for them.

Then there’s real world stuff—stress, lack of sleep, or simply not having a quiet place to practice new skills. Family responsibilities, work, and money stress pile up, making it tough to focus on anything extra. You can see how this hits in the numbers:

And let’s not forget technology. So many folks get left behind simply because programs or platforms change too fast, and basic instructions never make sense to them. For adults who didn’t grow up with a smartphone in their hand, digital learning can feel like following directions in an alien language.

• Fear of failure and embarrassment
• Mismatch between teaching and learning styles
• Daily life demands—family, job, chores
• Tech barriers, especially for older learners
• Health issues—poor eyesight, hearing, mobility

Recognizing that these hidden barriers are normal is the first step. You can’t fix what you don’t see, so shining a light on these stumbling blocks can help you (or someone you know) finally move forward.

Fixing Your Learning Roadblocks

Stuck in a rut? You’re not alone. About 70% of adults say they’d like to learn new things, but only a third actually sign up for classes or courses, according to a 2023 study by the Pew Research Center. Life, doubts, and even fear get in the way. The good news? There are solid steps to blast past those barriers once you spot them.

The biggest trick is to tackle one barrier at a time. For a lot of adults, the real block is believing change is out of reach. But science disagrees: neuroplasticity (your brain's ability to rewire and make new connections) isn’t just for kids. A Harvard study found folks in their 70s can still form new neural pathways when they challenge themselves.

• Mindset shift: Stop thinking "I’m too old to learn this." Replace it with "Everyone can get better." Jot this down and put it where you’ll see it—phones, bathroom mirror, whatever works.
• Break it down: Big goals overwhelm. Instead of "learn Excel," try "watch a five-minute video on Excel basics." Baby steps build momentum.
• Build a routine: Pick a regular spot and time. Brains love patterns. My son Ronan gets his math practice done every day after dinner—no reminders needed after a week.
• Use what you love: Tie your new habit to something you already enjoy. Listen to language lessons while walking the dog, or join a community group focused on your adult education goal.
• Get social: Learning together is powerful. A 2022 survey by LinkedIn says adults who join peer groups or learn with friends are 35% likelier to stick with new habits.

If you want more hard data, here’s how different strategies stack up:

Don’t try to bulldoze every obstacle at once. Pick one tactic that fits your life right now, give it two weeks, then stack another strategy on top. Before you know it, you’ll actually look forward to learning instead of dreading it.