Neurodivergence isn’t a diagnosis you get from a doctor’s office-it’s a natural variation in how human brains work. People don’t become neurodivergent overnight. They’re born with brains that process the world differently, and over time, those differences show up in ways that stand out from what’s considered typical. So how do you know if someone qualifies as neurodivergent? It’s not about labels. It’s about patterns. Here are three real, lived ways someone comes to be recognized as neurodivergent.
1. They’ve been diagnosed with a neurodevelopmental condition
The most common path to identifying neurodivergence is through a formal diagnosis. Conditions like autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, and Tourette syndrome are all recognized as neurodevelopmental differences. These aren’t illnesses to be cured-they’re ways the brain is wired.
In Ireland, getting a diagnosis for autism or ADHD in adults can take years. Many people, especially women and people assigned female at birth, go undiagnosed until their 30s or 40s. They’ve spent their whole lives feeling like something’s off-like they’re too sensitive, too restless, or too slow-but no one could explain why. Then comes the assessment: a psychologist, a battery of tests, interviews with family, and finally, the words: ‘You’re autistic.’ Or ‘You have ADHD.’ That’s not the start of a problem-it’s the end of a long misunderstanding.
Diagnosis doesn’t make someone neurodivergent. It just names what was already there. A person doesn’t become neurodivergent because they got a label. They got a label because they’ve always been neurodivergent.
2. They’ve spent years self-identifying through lived experience
Not everyone has access to a diagnosis. Cost, waitlists, stigma, or lack of awareness can block the path to formal evaluation. But that doesn’t mean they don’t know themselves.
Thousands of people-especially in online communities-recognize their own neurodivergence long before they ever see a professional. They read blog posts about sensory overload, watch videos about masking, or stumble upon a checklist for ADHD and think, ‘That’s me.’ They start noticing patterns: they can’t sit still in meetings but can focus for hours on a puzzle. They forget names but remember every lyric to a song from 2007. They need silence to think but feel lonely in quiet rooms.
Self-identification is valid. It’s not a replacement for diagnosis-it’s a parallel path. In schools, workplaces, and homes, people who self-identify often ask for accommodations anyway: extra time on tests, flexible schedules, noise-canceling headphones. Their needs are real. Their experience is real. And their neurodivergence doesn’t need a stamp from a clinic to be true.
3. They’re part of a family or community where neurodivergence is common
Neurodivergence often runs in families. A parent realizes their child is autistic-not because of a test, but because they see themselves in their child’s behavior. A sibling notices their brother’s intense focus on trains matches their own obsession with train schedules at age seven. A grandmother remembers how she used to rock back and forth as a kid and now understands why.
In these families, neurodivergence isn’t a secret. It’s just how things are. People don’t say, ‘I’m neurodivergent.’ They say, ‘We’re the ones who need quiet.’ Or, ‘We’re the ones who talk too fast.’ Or, ‘We’re the ones who forget birthdays but remember the exact date the first iPhone came out.’
When neurodivergence is normalized in a household or community, people don’t wait for permission to claim it. They just live it. A child might say, ‘I’m not lazy-I just think differently,’ and no one corrects them. That’s not denial. That’s belonging.
Why the ‘qualifying’ question misses the point
The question ‘What are three ways someone qualifies as neurodivergent?’ implies there’s a checklist, a gate, a standard to meet. But neurodivergence isn’t a club you join. It’s a fact of biology.
Think of it like left-handedness. No one asks, ‘How do you qualify as left-handed?’ You just are. You use your left hand more. You bump into things designed for righties. You’ve always had to adapt. That’s neurodivergence too.
The real issue isn’t whether someone qualifies. It’s whether society is willing to make space for them. A person doesn’t need to tick boxes to deserve understanding. They just need to exist.
What happens after you recognize neurodivergence?
Recognition is the first step-not the finish line. Once someone sees themselves in the neurodivergent spectrum, things change. They stop blaming themselves for struggling in noisy offices. They stop feeling guilty for needing breaks. They start asking for what they need: written instructions, flexible deadlines, alternative communication methods.
In schools, teachers who understand neurodivergence stop calling students ‘disruptive’ and start asking, ‘What’s getting in their way?’ In workplaces, managers stop expecting everyone to thrive in the same environment. They offer choices: work from home, use a whiteboard instead of meetings, take walks during breaks.
Neurodivergent people aren’t broken. They’re just wired differently. And when the world adjusts, they don’t need to fix themselves-they just need to thrive.
Common myths about neurodivergence
- Myth: Only children get diagnosed. Reality: Many adults are diagnosed for the first time in their 30s, 40s, or even 50s.
- Myth: Neurodivergent people can’t succeed. Reality: Many entrepreneurs, artists, scientists, and coders are neurodivergent. Their differences are their strengths.
- Myth: You have to be ‘high-functioning’ to count. Reality: There’s no level. Everyone’s experience is unique. Support needs vary-none are less valid.
- Myth: Neurodivergence is just a trend. Reality: The awareness is growing, but the differences have always existed. We’re just better at seeing them now.
Where to go next if you think you’re neurodivergent
If you’re wondering whether you’re neurodivergent, start here:
- Read about autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and other neurodevelopmental differences from neurodivergent authors-not just clinicians.
- Join online communities like r/ADHD or r/Autism. See what others share. You might recognize yourself.
- Keep a journal. Note when you feel overwhelmed, energized, confused, or calm. Look for patterns.
- If you’re in Ireland, contact your GP and ask about referrals for adult neurodevelopmental assessments. Waitlists are long, but they exist.
- Don’t rush. Self-discovery isn’t a race. Take your time. You’re not behind.
You don’t need to be ‘qualified’ to belong. You just need to be you.
Can you be neurodivergent without a diagnosis?
Yes. A diagnosis can help with access to support, but it doesn’t create neurodivergence. Many people self-identify based on years of lived experience, patterns in behavior, and connection with neurodivergent communities. Their reality is just as valid.
Is neurodivergence the same as mental illness?
No. Neurodivergence refers to natural differences in brain wiring-like autism or dyslexia. Mental illnesses, like depression or anxiety, are conditions that affect mood, thinking, or behavior and can develop at any time. While neurodivergent people are more likely to experience mental health challenges due to societal pressures, the two are not the same thing.
Are all people with ADHD or autism neurodivergent?
Yes. ADHD and autism are two of the most common neurodevelopmental differences included under the neurodiversity umbrella. If someone has been diagnosed with either, they are neurodivergent by definition. But neurodivergence also includes other conditions like dyslexia, dyspraxia, and Tourette syndrome.
Can someone become neurodivergent later in life?
No. Neurodivergence is present from early brain development. You’re born with it. Trauma, injury, or illness can cause changes in brain function, but those are acquired conditions-not neurodivergence. Someone might discover they’re neurodivergent later in life, but the difference was always there.
Why does the term ‘neurodivergent’ matter?
It shifts the focus from deficit to difference. Instead of saying someone has a disorder or is broken, it says: ‘Your brain works differently-and that’s okay.’ This language reduces stigma, encourages acceptance, and helps people access the right kind of support without shame.
Final thought: You don’t need permission to be yourself
Neurodivergence isn’t something you earn. It’s something you are. Whether you’ve been diagnosed, self-identified, or just always known you were different-you belong. The world doesn’t need you to fit in. It needs you to show up as you are.
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